A Women, a Mother
and a Professional
When I was a kid, my mother would always say these two things.
“You will understand what all it takes to nurture a kid when
you will become a mother”
“Beta be financially independent” no matter what.
Mom, you were so right!
Thanks for all the hard work that you and Dad had put in to
raise me. Thanks for always believing in me and supporting me. Love you both.
Yes, Moment the child is born; a mother is born! Life doesn’t change much when you
get married but it certainly does when this beautiful phase of “Motherhood”
embraces life. It’s indeed till date has been the happiest moment of my life.
You might have heard this phrase before that “which cannot be
said should not be said”. I cannot resonate and relate more than to it, then
now. There is so much to share, write & express but I know that emotions
and moments cannot be penned down and even if they could – they would certainly
get lost in midst of expressions and diction, so to say.Hence I am just writing down which I felt would get close to
what I feel though much more was experienced in this journey.
Tussle between Family
and Career: You are
at your peak of your career and you have to manage both family and career.
You have entered into the phase of motherhood where your
child needs time than anything else but simultaneously you have to manage your
career. This is certainly not easy. The option is with us.
Many give up. I decided not to. After all it’s a personal
choice and for me both Family and Career were of high importance. It is easy
for people who decided to pursue just one path. For me work and family goes
hand in hand. How can you take care of your baby when you are not happy, when
your mind isn’t stimulated, when you are not pursuing your dreams, your career?
Loving yourself -I always believed it is very
important to love oneself in order to love others. You may not agree with me.
That’s ok J. But do ponder. Try something which you really enjoy. Just
do that and you would feel so good. You feel energised. Now whatever you do,
you would do it with much more interest and great zeal.
However, this joy doesn’t come so easy. It requires
discipline, it demands you to stretch, it requires PASSION. In an endeavour to attain this bliss, I gave up many things
or I would say I wanted to invest my time in things that were more important.
Yes, I watched movie after almost 2 years in a theatre:) . Not
that I couldn’t have gone but something else was more important. Yes, it is my
baby who is more important. Therefore, I decided to spend more with him. My
baby was not a responsibility for me but a sheer joy and blessing. The fact is
that "responsibility", the very word, has to be broken into two
words. It means "response ability". And response is possible only if
you are spontaneous, here and now. Response means that your attention, your
awareness, your consciousness, is totally here and now, in the present. So
whatever happens, you respond with your whole being.
Being in a nuclear family when you don’t have much support,
one has to manage a lot. Thanks to those innate multi-tasking capabilities and
little management capabilities. Have been able to do justice at both Career and
Family. Touchwood!
Things don’t come in a platter often. You have to make
efforts; you have to put in lot of hard work. After all, you are pursuing your
dreams.
The “ME” Time- In the midst of all this marathon,
don’t forget to pamper yourself. I ensured that whenever I could steal moments
for only myself, I did. Whether it is going for a window shopping, beauty
parlour or freaking out with your friends for a quick break. Thanks to my
better half for allowing me to be myself and doing some part time baby sitting
on weekends. J .
The Rush Hour- Every morning in that 70-90 mins, I
have to complete multiple things starting from preparing 3-4 meals for baby, packing
his day care bag, making him ready for office and finally getting ready myself.
Every time I think how did I do this? But I have been able to do this till now J
The biggest Support- God finds a way for everyone. For me
it came in a form of My office Day Care. This has been a biggest support for me
till date. I could focus on work in office only because I knew that my baby is
right there just few steps away from me. Whenever I want, I can go and see him,
talk to him, play with him.
The most important
aspect- Your
understanding with your partner has a significant difference in this entire
journey. It is not about your individual
careers or responsibilities but it is all about perceiving it collectively and
managing this as a whole.
There would be times when you would feel stressed, exhausted,
even frustrated. It’s ok. It’s absolutely normal. Take deep breath, give
yourself a pat on your back and get back again with a smile.With time it will make you more patient, calm and loving.
Closing Notes: Try this! Everyday nature gives us
two options. One to be sad all day and other to be happy…..the choice is
obvious and will always be.
******Will write a book someday, this is just a page of
the entire story********
Smiles
Ritu
Fantastic lines Ritu...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThank u Myra
DeleteI couldn't agree more with you on the 'Love yourself'. You need to love yourself and feel loved to then give love.
ReplyDeleteRight Bharat
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteNice article..
ReplyDeleteInspiring one ... even i am juggling through the same situation...
Thank You. Stay motivated
DeleteNice article..
ReplyDeleteInspiring one ... even i am juggling through the same situation...
Gyan jyoti... proudly I'm glad to read it
ReplyDeleteGreat post Ritu. Interesting for all nuclear migrant families ( like mine) who want to have a child but not quit on their careers + plus no local extended family support. Your " love yourself" makes excellent sense. A lot of women suffer from guilt in doing so , even in pursuing their careers with their child still needing care. More voices like yours need to be heard.
ReplyDeleteThank You Subroto!
DeleteTotally agree with you Ritu on this topic. I have been a father of sweet baby girl who is now 18 months old.. My life changed entirely from the day she came in our lives... How quickly we changed and grew up altogether from careless adults to a responsible parents.. As a father I can see how challenging this role for a mother is... I agree with you on the point that one should not gove up their dreams and career altogether , but try to reprioritize other things..
ReplyDeleteThe very fact that I am reading & responding to your post after 1.5 months is good example how my life has changed and on emy passions to read & write blogpost has taken backseat as I juggle between work and taking care of my daughter ..
Nice post !! Keep sharing your views...
Congratulations Ravindra :). Thank you! I always look forward to receive your comments. Happy Parenting. It's a beautiful phase. Keep enjoying every moment
ReplyDeleteThanks Caroline.Convey my thanks to your friend too who recommended this blog to you.I am little curious to know the name��
ReplyDeleteDear Ritu, came across your blog and found the one on Mother and a professional really insightful. Would you be ok in us referencing to this particular blog on our webpage too (www.wonderhood.in). We want to feature blogs from mothers and professionals for the benefit of the larger community.
ReplyDeleteThanks Pooja. Please go ahead if it helps others.
Delete